Scripting

We took advantage today of a new promotion offered by Charter for a low price on cable tv and internet. They provided me with an e-mail address and a password but I didn't like the password so I clicked on the link to change the password. The link took me to the page to manage my charter account, but when I tried to access my account the FAQ said that I needed a code found on my bill to access that area. Since I established service today I don't have a bill and the technician didn't give me anything similar to the code I needed.

I got onto an online chat with a representative and she began with her scripted opening statement asking for my SSN, phone #, and full name. I then stated my problem as not being able to modify my account online because I don't have the security code on the bill. She then asked me for the security code. I asked her where I could find the code, but she responded that all I had to look at the top right corner of my bill. I once again typed out the fact that I had no bill to which she replied that she could not help me with the question and to contact my local office in the morning (it is past office hours).

So as I typed "thanks for your help" she sent "Is there anything else I can do for you?" Now she had just told me that there was nothing she could do for me without the code on my nonexistent bill. I just love scripts. They don't always work for the situations the consumer response "engineer" designs them for. I responded by asking if there was anything she could do without my security code, and she agreed that there was nothing she could do for me. So I said goodnight. I tried to paste the chat onto here, but it didn't copy and I closed it before I got a screenshot. Oh well.

Many consumer care departments work off of scripts now. The technician is expected to follow the script as closely as possible, and I have found that some have even scripted "chit-chat" into the computer screens of their workers. I got one poor woman to prove my point by figuring out how to get her into an endless loop on her screen script prompts until we both broke out into giggles every time she uttered a new sentence. The thing is that they rarely are able to deviate from the scripting because their calls may be monitored for that very thing. In other words, the consumer has made it clear that we would rather speak to a person than a computer, but we almost end up speaking to a computer through a person. Sorry, it just gets to me sometimes. Back to the regularly scheduled program.

The Apple Tree

This evening while I was sitting in the service at Church preparing for Communion I felt totally inadequate to come to the Table. I basically told God that I just hadn't come to the point where I could come with a clear conscience. As my own advocate I pointed out I had improved in the areas in which I normally sinned, but I reminded myself that I still constantly struggled with wrong thoughts and attitudes that I should have mastered long ago. I confessed these to the Lord, but I still contemplated leaving before the serving of the bread and "wine". Then an analogy came to mind-

It was as if I was an apple tree and my fruit was my offering of worship to God. Every week He would come to taste of my fruit, and every week the last seven days produced the fruit that He sampled. I learned to cringe every week because I knew that while I was producing one of the apples He would choose to sample I allowed a bird to nick the skin of one, or a worm would have been chased out of the other. I may not have sent the right amount of sugar to one, or spent enough time reddening another that was now marked with a splotch of green. Every week the Lord would take of my fruit and savor every bite as if it was the best He ever had. I finally tired of this charade and asked- "How can you act as if my fruit was so good? It has so many imperfections!"

The Lord answered, "But it is the fruit you made for me, and I enjoy it because you did work to make it sweet and red. I gave you the sun and rain, I made the bugs and birds, and I provided the conditions to make the sugar. You chose to deal with each one of these to make the fruit. I know it isn't perfect, but it still has sweetness because you made it for me. In time when I replant you in my new garden your fruit will be perfect. For now you can just keep working to make it better and I shall be very pleased. I don't pretend to enjoy your fruit, it is exactly what I want. See you next week."

Of course this analogy isn't perfect, but the concept worked for me. I will work harder to guard my thoughts and time this week. I will spend more time praying and less time just fooling around without any purpose. But when Sunday comes and I offer the fruit I have in my heart as praise The Lord will see it washed in the blood of Christ. Without the sin the effort will be the kind He wants. A misshapen red-green apple that is fairly sweet is not the best, but it can still be refreshing. I pray that the Holy Spirit guides us all to be those kinds of working trees this week. Onward and upward!

An artifact from a different era

I found this card recently that dates from the late 1960s and it struck me how much things have changed. I deleted the name of the person to whom it was addressed, but it seems that it was given to the patient by the surgeon. To see a larger size click on the images. I cannot imagine anyone getting one of these now from their surgeon. Times really have changed.

The dreaded apology

Molly was a hamster that Middlesweet adopted a few years ago, and it lived a relatively peaceful life in her little house in a corner of our home until Wonderful noticed that it was not eating as much during the last weekend. I held the trembling body in my hand and noted that the poor thing's abdomen was swollen and black. I warned Middlesweet that her little pet was very sick and probably not long for this world. Monday morning the little thing started smelling rotten and by evening it had become a lifeless form on a blue towel prepared for a final goodbye. I held my daughter in my lap in front of the fuzzy form and encouraged her o whisper her goodbye, and through moans of grief and tears Middlesweet apologized to the hamster. "I'm sorry I didn't play with you enough!"

The other two children were allowed to say their goodbyes after Middlesweet completed her alone time with her pet and I buried the little body in an undisclosed location. I was given pause by Middlesweet's sad confession of not spending enough time with her pet. Of course too much time with the hamster would have probably terrorized the little thing, but how much time would have been enough? I feel like confiding in my daughter that I never spend enough time with her, and that when it comes time for her to move on to the next things I will tearfully admit that I won't be ready. Life marches in a continuous string of moments that cannot be retained or paused. I hope my children remember plenty of those moments on my lap or in my embrace to sustain a sense of my love for them, but I will be still be asking for one more moment to say it one more time. Every loved one to whom I have said goodbye deserved so much more than I gave. I think I will tell my girl that it is better to realize that we made an attempt to show our love than to realize that we kept planning on doing it better later instead and never got to it.

A Father's Delight

Forgive me for playing catch-up by posting more than once today, but I have all these unposted notes I am trying to clear off my PDA.

My eight year-old son has fallen in love with reading, and his favorite series of late is the Eragon series by Christopher Paolini. (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eragon) Saturday night he confided in me that he was not going to read any of these books on Sunday. When I asked why his response was that God has made him feel that Sunday should be a day to focus on God and not on other things that delight us. He also noted that he was not going to play any of the allowed computer games on Sunday either, for the same reason. Needless to say I was floored. This is not a family rule, and I stated that to him, but encouraged him to stick by his commitment so that he would not quench the Spirit if it is truly God who directed him to make these decisions.

This whole thing was very challenging to me as I see myself acting selfishly all the time, and I really need to spend more time focusing on God. I told Wonderful that I am not the right father for this boy- he needs a godly man to lead him. Of course Wonderful gave the pat answer that I am just right for my eldest and that she thinks I am wonderful. I told her she just doesn't want to admit she made a mistake in marrying me, but she just rolled her eyes at me. Whatever.

So Sunday comes, and my eldest gets all goofy and plays with his sister and my wife's puppy all afternoon, instead of quietly sitting in his room reading the Holy Scriptures as he intended. He did read several chapters of the Bible during church and the ride to and from church, but the afternoon did not pan out as he stated it would. What do I do? I simply let him do his thing. (at this point Wonderful would want me to note that I did sleep through much of this and could not have done anything anyway. As she said I slept through everything she probably would roll her eyes again) In fact, though, as I put my son to bed that night I could have rehashed the day and kept him accountable to his commitment a day earlier, but I did not. As I have said, I let him do his thing.

I admit that I am still proud of him for making this commitment, because he heard the voice of God and responded in his heart. His response isn't perfect, and probably never will be. The point is that his little imperfect effort warmed my heart. So God snags my heart over to the corner and tells me- "I am YOUR father. Don't give up on your efforts to make me proud. You will get there someday if you keep trying, and that desire means more to me than some artificial righteousness."

I am proud of the imperfect artwork on my refrigerator, and the mispronounced words read to me from the pages of some difficult Dr. Seuss book. I am proud because they represent honest effort and a desire to please. I am not satisfied to keep my children here, but I am delighted that they are at this place now. My Father in Heaven is the same. He knows we have much to learn and grow, but He delights in our honest efforts. Never give up because you aren't good enough, because your Father is ok with that if it is your current best. Commit to continue to grow and listen for His promptings to learn from your mistakes. I have committed to do so.

Flourish here

Numbers 34:1, 2 "The LORD spoke to Moses, saying, “Command the people of Israel, and say to them, When you enter the land of Canaan (this is the land that shall fall to you for an inheritance, the land of Canaan as defined by its borders)...""

This is an idea that is almost as foreign as arranged marriage to our American culture. God basically told Israel that "this" set of borders shall define your land and no more. Later under the kings the borders became more fluid, and it can be argued that the people of Israel never really did possess the land deeded to them by God. The point that I want to make is that God never seemed to intend Israel to make an expansive empire. Americans seem to think that if it seems possible to have more then it is God's will for me to have it. History students will instantly connect with this the philosophy of manifest destiny that defined American expansionist policy, but while this may present itself in American foreign policy it is more pervasive in our personal decisions. I think of this when my fellow-parents describe how busy they are with their kids between soccer, dance, piano, and other activities. It seems that while there is a chance to add on things to do, we just keep adding them on because we can. The same goes with the opportunity to increase income, or education. I write this with a bit of self-condemnation because I am sitting here in class knowing that my kids won’t see me tonight.

The question I constantly ask myself is whether my expansion of my personal empire is really God’s call on my life. It is necessary that I remember that, just like any of Israel’s expansions, any expansions for me come at some cost to someone. In my case I see my wife and children suffer from the fact that I am gone quite often for the benefit of my education. I assuage my guilt by remembering that I chose a shorter route that I had initially intended, but it is still true that I feel that I have abandoned my family for my education. I could not do this without my family’s support, but it is also true that they are all suffering. For this reason I am delaying any decision on further education after I finish school in 250 days. I want to assess my family’s needs at that time and determine how I can best meet those needs.

The problem, I think, is not how busy we are, but why. Many of our activities are good, but not necessary to fulfill our personal missions from God. Many of my friends expand their “territory” because they can. That promotion at work, educational opportunity, or sports program for our kids can be made to work with our lives, but just because it is possible doesn’t mean that it is the right thing. God gave a specific mission to the nation of Israel- occupy the land I gave you and take of it so that I can make it flourish. God has given each of us a mission for our lives, and it is not to fill every moment of our lives so that we can make more money or keep our families as busy as possible. Even as busy as my life is I have been led by the Lord to evaluate my moments with my family to make them fulfill my mission to disciple my wife and kids as effectively as possible. Even so, I must also evaluate my moments away from home for those opportunities to reach into their lives because they are my mission. This doesn’t mean that I will take you aside, like some well-meaning friends did for me when I first started my education, and tell you that you cannot fulfill God’s will for your family if you add this thing on. I cannot tell you what God has called you to do, but I can remind you that we need to stay on mission and support you if you believe you are. Not only do we need to stay on mission, but we need to do well too.