Sunday, January 04, 2009
New Pictures of the New Year
New pictures have been posted to our flickr account- http://www.flickr.com/photos/themathers/sets/72157612075590767/
Friday, December 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Pitfalls
I mentioned last post that teaching Christianity is rational from a "godless" paradigm is setting up our next generation for belief failure. Unfortunately we have found ourselves reacting to our culture's current focus on scientific rationalism (which some have called scientific naturalism) and establishing apologetics teachings to guide our young people in how to argue someone from unbelief to belief. In theory this approach seems good in that we are both equipping our young people to counter doubt around them as well as assuring them against the doubts within them. What happens, then, if the youth discovers that his rational beliefs only truly work within the framework based on the presupposition that there is a Christian God? An honest theologian will sadly admit there is no solution to the problem of evil, and no real unimpeachable proof of God's existence without first acknowledging God.
God Himself states in Scripture that while He has given clues to his existence around His creation most human eyes are blind to them. Sadly, it is the very extensive knowledge, or rather the personal recognition of one's own knowledge, that makes it difficult to identify God as the Creator. Jesus often said that the simple recognize God, but wise overlook Him. Ah! Says the agnostic, so you do want me to "check my brain at the door", but that is not it at all. It is pride that needs to be checked, though many mistake their sense of pride for a self-awareness of intelligence.
Our culture is already developing a shift away from pure rationalism. Even those, with certain very vocal exceptions, who decry the danger of religion often state the importance of spirituality. The spirituality that these agnostic/atheists accept is loosely based on Hindu ideas of energy and karma. I expect another swing toward "new age" spiritualism in the next decade with a more rationalist bent than we have seen in the past.
How this effects our youth is that spiritualism will explain certain emotional experiences that the rationalist describes, but everything else in his universe will be seen from the atheistic frame of reference. As our youth continue to engage the culture many will not want to have it appear that they have checked their brains at the door of faith. Friends and professors will regard the fundamentalist Christian youth with condescension. Soon the youth will find that all the arguments he was taught in church about how to prove God's hand in creation is not sufficient for even himself.
It is not, then, wise to declare Christianity to be rational in the modern sense. Instead we need to accept that true faith in God is just that- faith. We are not saved from the power of sin and death by our ability to discern the truth. Paul made this clear in his letter to the Ephesians- "By grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourself..." It is better to teach our children the value of their gift of faith rather teaching them to explain their faith using the world's reasoning. We need to teach our children that it is ok to say "I believe because I have faith given by the Holy Spirit." It is ok to not have all the answers because, as Paul wrote, right now we can only know in part (I Corinthians 13:12).
God Himself states in Scripture that while He has given clues to his existence around His creation most human eyes are blind to them. Sadly, it is the very extensive knowledge, or rather the personal recognition of one's own knowledge, that makes it difficult to identify God as the Creator. Jesus often said that the simple recognize God, but wise overlook Him. Ah! Says the agnostic, so you do want me to "check my brain at the door", but that is not it at all. It is pride that needs to be checked, though many mistake their sense of pride for a self-awareness of intelligence.
Our culture is already developing a shift away from pure rationalism. Even those, with certain very vocal exceptions, who decry the danger of religion often state the importance of spirituality. The spirituality that these agnostic/atheists accept is loosely based on Hindu ideas of energy and karma. I expect another swing toward "new age" spiritualism in the next decade with a more rationalist bent than we have seen in the past.
How this effects our youth is that spiritualism will explain certain emotional experiences that the rationalist describes, but everything else in his universe will be seen from the atheistic frame of reference. As our youth continue to engage the culture many will not want to have it appear that they have checked their brains at the door of faith. Friends and professors will regard the fundamentalist Christian youth with condescension. Soon the youth will find that all the arguments he was taught in church about how to prove God's hand in creation is not sufficient for even himself.
It is not, then, wise to declare Christianity to be rational in the modern sense. Instead we need to accept that true faith in God is just that- faith. We are not saved from the power of sin and death by our ability to discern the truth. Paul made this clear in his letter to the Ephesians- "By grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourself..." It is better to teach our children the value of their gift of faith rather teaching them to explain their faith using the world's reasoning. We need to teach our children that it is ok to say "I believe because I have faith given by the Holy Spirit." It is ok to not have all the answers because, as Paul wrote, right now we can only know in part (I Corinthians 13:12).
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Religion as a rational problem
The word rational is used to denote the idea that reasoning was used to come to certain point of understanding. Someone who acts rationally is considered someone who appropriately uses reason to determine a course of action. Rationalists look at fundamentalist Christians and state that their beliefs are irrational. Larry Charles says it well- "Ok. An old God, a very buff old God that lives in space decides to create the first man from earth dust, then makes a woman from that man’s rib. They get to live forever if they don’t eat the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge, but the woman is tricked into eating a piece by a talking snake and all future humanity is cursed" In this modern world the Genesis story of creation seems a bit more than a stretch. It seems irrational.
People like Ken Ham believe that the Genesis creation story, as well as all of Scripture, is entirely rational. Mr. Ham even believes that modern scientists have proven beyond doubt that every odd-looking story in the Bible has clear evidence to support it. Ken Ham has made significant contributions to increase the acceptance of the ideas of the modern movement known as Intelligent Design. Adherents to ID, as Intelligent Design is known, believe that science points to evidence that some nonhuman intelligent Designer created everything. These ID followers call the Designer they speak of as God in church, but generally speak of him only as The Designer in more secular situations to avoid mental roadblocks that secularists develop in association with the name of God.
Is Christianity and the idea of belief in any god at all rational or irrational? Does it matter? Many Christians attempt to convert the atheist by attesting to the rationality of Christianity based on morality (See the writings of Ravi Zacharias), or science (See Michael Behe on the Discovery Institute page). I am often pulled into such discussions at work or school and I support the arguments of the Christians in the discussion as best I can, but at the same time I remind myself of the comment Jesus made to Peter when he declared the truth of Christ's deity- "Flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven." The heavens do declare the glory of God as loudly as Christ's miracles proclaimed Him to be the Messiah, but it takes the work of God in the heart of a man for him to see it as it truly is. I am concerned with how often Christians try to argue from anti-God philosophy to produce a rationale for a belief in God when the connection is not really there. I strongly believe that Christianity is only completely rational to those who have had their eyes opened by God. To argue that anyone who sees creation must trick themselves into not believing in God is setting up our next generation for more belief failure than we see in our current generation. More on that later.
People like Ken Ham believe that the Genesis creation story, as well as all of Scripture, is entirely rational. Mr. Ham even believes that modern scientists have proven beyond doubt that every odd-looking story in the Bible has clear evidence to support it. Ken Ham has made significant contributions to increase the acceptance of the ideas of the modern movement known as Intelligent Design. Adherents to ID, as Intelligent Design is known, believe that science points to evidence that some nonhuman intelligent Designer created everything. These ID followers call the Designer they speak of as God in church, but generally speak of him only as The Designer in more secular situations to avoid mental roadblocks that secularists develop in association with the name of God.
Is Christianity and the idea of belief in any god at all rational or irrational? Does it matter? Many Christians attempt to convert the atheist by attesting to the rationality of Christianity based on morality (See the writings of Ravi Zacharias), or science (See Michael Behe on the Discovery Institute page). I am often pulled into such discussions at work or school and I support the arguments of the Christians in the discussion as best I can, but at the same time I remind myself of the comment Jesus made to Peter when he declared the truth of Christ's deity- "Flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven." The heavens do declare the glory of God as loudly as Christ's miracles proclaimed Him to be the Messiah, but it takes the work of God in the heart of a man for him to see it as it truly is. I am concerned with how often Christians try to argue from anti-God philosophy to produce a rationale for a belief in God when the connection is not really there. I strongly believe that Christianity is only completely rational to those who have had their eyes opened by God. To argue that anyone who sees creation must trick themselves into not believing in God is setting up our next generation for more belief failure than we see in our current generation. More on that later.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Religulous
Bill Maher, the irreverent comedian and political commentator, has created a new movie, Religulous, that advances the ideas of what some have called "The New Atheism." The main thrust of this movement is that religion is not only silly but dangerous, and is the source of most conflict in society. Mr. Maher insists rightfully that most Americans are practical Rationalists (his name for atheists) even though they declare themselves to be believers in a deity. His hope for this movie, as He told Larry King, is that those people who are calling themselves religious but thinking as atheists will have the courage to stand up for rationalism and peace. If everything goes as planned the movie comes out this week, and I hope to go to it. The name of the movie is a play on the word ridiculous combined with the word religious, and I want to know how to adress the issues that he raises in my life and in the minds of those with whom I work. It is possible that I have become so lax in my faith that I have become Religulous.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Planning
The announcement chilled my blood to deep in my gut- "This is one of those people who had to jump out of their apartment in Vestavia this morning." Of course my first thought was "We live in an apartment in Vestavia!" A quick call to Wonderful calmed that fear, but she informed me that one of our friends was injured jumping from her apartment in the early morning fire, and was in my hospital. I got the necessary information from my wife, and after my shift I found my way to her room where her children were keeping vigil over her sleeping form. This friends's youngest son plays soccer with my son, and I asked him what it was like having such an odd alarm clock wake him. His proud answer was typical for his young age- "I aimed perfect when I threw my dog out the window onto the pillow." I chuckled and asked his older brother if they needed anything. The Body Of Christ has responded superbly to their needs as best I can tell.
Returning home that night I thought about the fact that the tragedy could have been so much worse than an injured mother and loss of all belongings. People die far too often from fires in the home, and among the most tragic deaths are those preventable deaths of children. As soon as we had a quiet moment that night I sent my kids to bed, shut off the lights, and activated a smoke alarm in the hall. My oldest responded almost exactly as we had practiced months before, and with some prompting from their brother my giggly girls followed suit. Not every plan is perfect, but when a few basic plans are well-known to everyone the handling of an emergency will be much less likely to have a tragic ending. I encourage every family to develop a few simple evacuation routes through your home with a well-defined gathering area that is out of danger. Also please help your child learn not to hide during a fire. Youngsters that are lost to fires are often found afterwards in a hiding place. It makes sense to them to hide from a scary fire, but it keeps them from being found by rescuers.
We praise the Lord for His protection, and we are praying for you guys. Get well Mrs. Sue!
Returning home that night I thought about the fact that the tragedy could have been so much worse than an injured mother and loss of all belongings. People die far too often from fires in the home, and among the most tragic deaths are those preventable deaths of children. As soon as we had a quiet moment that night I sent my kids to bed, shut off the lights, and activated a smoke alarm in the hall. My oldest responded almost exactly as we had practiced months before, and with some prompting from their brother my giggly girls followed suit. Not every plan is perfect, but when a few basic plans are well-known to everyone the handling of an emergency will be much less likely to have a tragic ending. I encourage every family to develop a few simple evacuation routes through your home with a well-defined gathering area that is out of danger. Also please help your child learn not to hide during a fire. Youngsters that are lost to fires are often found afterwards in a hiding place. It makes sense to them to hide from a scary fire, but it keeps them from being found by rescuers.
We praise the Lord for His protection, and we are praying for you guys. Get well Mrs. Sue!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
So...
81 days, 2.7 months, 11.56 weeks, and no matter how you look at it there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Yesterday we stood outside the School of Nursing in our white as a group for our graduation photo, and it began to sink in- I just might be able to do this! And then one of the faculty said, "I thought all this time that you were a nurse practitioner student." I realized that no matter what accomplishment I completed there was always going to be one more thing to do to "make it even better." Such is the lot of the human affection. Adam and Eve faced this when in the state of bliss they were told "You could be better, like God." The fact is that I am happy with my current path becaue it is where God has me right now. I am content with what vistas are coming into view over the immediate horizon, and I see the good that God can do in and through me here. All I need to do now is watch my step so that I take this current path t its end without faltering. More is sure to come, but I must first cross this ridge.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Living The Life
One of my favorite moments of life involves my Wonderful sitting by me talking about whatever she happens to think of. That's what I am doing right now with a strawberry Milkquake in front of me and a chocolate one in front of her. She just spied me writing and she paused for a moment, but something just came to mind and she is off on another topic. She worries that she bugs me talking so much, but it is just nice to listen to her relax and know that every once and a while we can just chat about something that does not include money, child discipline, or Sarah's asthma. Right now I am living a wonderful life, and I must admit that I am grateful to have her beside me.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Ten years
It was ten years ago this last weekend that I asked the woman who was to be my Wonderful wife to join me for life. She had no idea what she was in for, but she gave me her left hand to decoate with a solitary diamond ring. Five months later a simple gold band joined the diamond, and my life became more incredible than I had ever imagined. Thank you darling for the best ten years of my life so far!
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Gifts of a moment
A moment is the period of time from one thing to the next. It seems as long as an eternity or as fleeting as a microsecond. A moment can be spent waiting for the light to turn green, or hoping you picked the correct long line in the grocery store. Many people I know consider moments to be nuisances that become major frustrations, but I just want to encourage us to see moments as chances for quiet or verbal prayer. That lady in front of you that has a huge handful of complicated coupons needs your prayer much more than your angry stare. Just a thought.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
101 days!
I am thrilled that I have only 101 days left until I graduate. I just thought you would like to know.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Just a quick glance
My semester break is coming up and as I am looking forward to having some time “off” I remembered that I have this blog. Once again my desire to add to this blog is increased, not because I need my opinions “out there” but because my children read this blog when something new comes up, and I want them to have something challenging to read. At any rate – let me mention something that is on my heart at this moment.
I recently learned that an acquaintance of mine was sanctioned by his church for adultery- I don’t know the details, but, knowing this church, it had to be pretty obvious for them to do something. This man was in a position of responsibility in the Church, and so his case is more public than some. Sadly, my first thought when hearing of his sanctioning was- “I knew this would happen!” In my sinfulness I congratulated myself at recognizing his weakness and identifying the likelihood that he would be caught up in this sin.
Thankfully I am growing enough in the Lord that He was able to chide me promptly for my sinful attitude of judging someone as less spiritual than I when I can so easily fail myself. The truth is that this man, let’s call him Joe, did have a shallow presentation of his faith. Joe preached a sermon when I was last in his church on how to be a happy Christian. His premise was that happy Christians are strong Christians, and I took exception to his premise. I find in Scripture that a focus on God’s work does bring a sense of peace and happiness, but even Jesus found Himself in inner conflict as He prayed “Not my will, but thine…” When my happiness is my goal I will find that my actions will eventually be against God’s plan. I suspect that Joe’s sermon was a symptom of his personal decision to seek his will above God’s, and that this mindset left him open to adultery. I don’t know this for sure, but I have known Joe for some time, and this belief fits with his behavior for the last twenty years.
Now, what does this mean for me? I was once again reminded that I am easily swayed from Paul’s admonition to keep my mind set on God’s ways rather than being distracted by the wasteful pleasures around me. Col 3:1-5 (ESV) “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
I can easily judge someone for their failure to keep their focus aloft (looking up to God), but by doing so I can lose my focus. An idea that I find helpful is to remember how I use my eyes when I drive with my family. If I spend too much time looking at any car beside me or at anything in the car with me the results can be disastrous. I want to know what the drivers in the cars around me are doing. If they are looking around to change lanes I want to get out of their way if I can. If they are texting, reading the paper, or arguing with their passengers I want to keep a safe distance between us.
The same idea applies to my Christian walk. I need to glance around me at what others are doing, but I want to keep my mind on Christ's path for me. I need to notice Joe's weakness and pray for him. I need to avoid some of the mistakes that led to his failure so that I don't follow, but I don't want to get too involved as a spectator or the results may lead to my own crash. If I am part of the solution for Joe, then his path may be part of my path, but if I am not involved, as Dad often says, I need to get on with my work.
I recently learned that an acquaintance of mine was sanctioned by his church for adultery- I don’t know the details, but, knowing this church, it had to be pretty obvious for them to do something. This man was in a position of responsibility in the Church, and so his case is more public than some. Sadly, my first thought when hearing of his sanctioning was- “I knew this would happen!” In my sinfulness I congratulated myself at recognizing his weakness and identifying the likelihood that he would be caught up in this sin.
Thankfully I am growing enough in the Lord that He was able to chide me promptly for my sinful attitude of judging someone as less spiritual than I when I can so easily fail myself. The truth is that this man, let’s call him Joe, did have a shallow presentation of his faith. Joe preached a sermon when I was last in his church on how to be a happy Christian. His premise was that happy Christians are strong Christians, and I took exception to his premise. I find in Scripture that a focus on God’s work does bring a sense of peace and happiness, but even Jesus found Himself in inner conflict as He prayed “Not my will, but thine…” When my happiness is my goal I will find that my actions will eventually be against God’s plan. I suspect that Joe’s sermon was a symptom of his personal decision to seek his will above God’s, and that this mindset left him open to adultery. I don’t know this for sure, but I have known Joe for some time, and this belief fits with his behavior for the last twenty years.
Now, what does this mean for me? I was once again reminded that I am easily swayed from Paul’s admonition to keep my mind set on God’s ways rather than being distracted by the wasteful pleasures around me. Col 3:1-5 (ESV) “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
I can easily judge someone for their failure to keep their focus aloft (looking up to God), but by doing so I can lose my focus. An idea that I find helpful is to remember how I use my eyes when I drive with my family. If I spend too much time looking at any car beside me or at anything in the car with me the results can be disastrous. I want to know what the drivers in the cars around me are doing. If they are looking around to change lanes I want to get out of their way if I can. If they are texting, reading the paper, or arguing with their passengers I want to keep a safe distance between us.
The same idea applies to my Christian walk. I need to glance around me at what others are doing, but I want to keep my mind on Christ's path for me. I need to notice Joe's weakness and pray for him. I need to avoid some of the mistakes that led to his failure so that I don't follow, but I don't want to get too involved as a spectator or the results may lead to my own crash. If I am part of the solution for Joe, then his path may be part of my path, but if I am not involved, as Dad often says, I need to get on with my work.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Scripting
We took advantage today of a new promotion offered by Charter for a low price on cable tv and internet. They provided me with an e-mail address and a password but I didn't like the password so I clicked on the link to change the password. The link took me to the page to manage my charter account, but when I tried to access my account the FAQ said that I needed a code found on my bill to access that area. Since I established service today I don't have a bill and the technician didn't give me anything similar to the code I needed.
I got onto an online chat with a representative and she began with her scripted opening statement asking for my SSN, phone #, and full name. I then stated my problem as not being able to modify my account online because I don't have the security code on the bill. She then asked me for the security code. I asked her where I could find the code, but she responded that all I had to look at the top right corner of my bill. I once again typed out the fact that I had no bill to which she replied that she could not help me with the question and to contact my local office in the morning (it is past office hours).
So as I typed "thanks for your help" she sent "Is there anything else I can do for you?" Now she had just told me that there was nothing she could do for me without the code on my nonexistent bill. I just love scripts. They don't always work for the situations the consumer response "engineer" designs them for. I responded by asking if there was anything she could do without my security code, and she agreed that there was nothing she could do for me. So I said goodnight. I tried to paste the chat onto here, but it didn't copy and I closed it before I got a screenshot. Oh well.
Many consumer care departments work off of scripts now. The technician is expected to follow the script as closely as possible, and I have found that some have even scripted "chit-chat" into the computer screens of their workers. I got one poor woman to prove my point by figuring out how to get her into an endless loop on her screen script prompts until we both broke out into giggles every time she uttered a new sentence. The thing is that they rarely are able to deviate from the scripting because their calls may be monitored for that very thing. In other words, the consumer has made it clear that we would rather speak to a person than a computer, but we almost end up speaking to a computer through a person. Sorry, it just gets to me sometimes. Back to the regularly scheduled program.
I got onto an online chat with a representative and she began with her scripted opening statement asking for my SSN, phone #, and full name. I then stated my problem as not being able to modify my account online because I don't have the security code on the bill. She then asked me for the security code. I asked her where I could find the code, but she responded that all I had to look at the top right corner of my bill. I once again typed out the fact that I had no bill to which she replied that she could not help me with the question and to contact my local office in the morning (it is past office hours).
So as I typed "thanks for your help" she sent "Is there anything else I can do for you?" Now she had just told me that there was nothing she could do for me without the code on my nonexistent bill. I just love scripts. They don't always work for the situations the consumer response "engineer" designs them for. I responded by asking if there was anything she could do without my security code, and she agreed that there was nothing she could do for me. So I said goodnight. I tried to paste the chat onto here, but it didn't copy and I closed it before I got a screenshot. Oh well.
Many consumer care departments work off of scripts now. The technician is expected to follow the script as closely as possible, and I have found that some have even scripted "chit-chat" into the computer screens of their workers. I got one poor woman to prove my point by figuring out how to get her into an endless loop on her screen script prompts until we both broke out into giggles every time she uttered a new sentence. The thing is that they rarely are able to deviate from the scripting because their calls may be monitored for that very thing. In other words, the consumer has made it clear that we would rather speak to a person than a computer, but we almost end up speaking to a computer through a person. Sorry, it just gets to me sometimes. Back to the regularly scheduled program.
Monday, April 14, 2008
The Apple Tree
This evening while I was sitting in the service at Church preparing for Communion I felt totally inadequate to come to the Table. I basically told God that I just hadn't come to the point where I could come with a clear conscience. As my own advocate I pointed out I had improved in the areas in which I normally sinned, but I reminded myself that I still constantly struggled with wrong thoughts and attitudes that I should have mastered long ago. I confessed these to the Lord, but I still contemplated leaving before the serving of the bread and "wine". Then an analogy came to mind-
It was as if I was an apple tree and my fruit was my offering of worship to God. Every week He would come to taste of my fruit, and every week the last seven days produced the fruit that He sampled. I learned to cringe every week because I knew that while I was producing one of the apples He would choose to sample I allowed a bird to nick the skin of one, or a worm would have been chased out of the other. I may not have sent the right amount of sugar to one, or spent enough time reddening another that was now marked with a splotch of green. Every week the Lord would take of my fruit and savor every bite as if it was the best He ever had. I finally tired of this charade and asked- "How can you act as if my fruit was so good? It has so many imperfections!"
The Lord answered, "But it is the fruit you made for me, and I enjoy it because you did work to make it sweet and red. I gave you the sun and rain, I made the bugs and birds, and I provided the conditions to make the sugar. You chose to deal with each one of these to make the fruit. I know it isn't perfect, but it still has sweetness because you made it for me. In time when I replant you in my new garden your fruit will be perfect. For now you can just keep working to make it better and I shall be very pleased. I don't pretend to enjoy your fruit, it is exactly what I want. See you next week."
Of course this analogy isn't perfect, but the concept worked for me. I will work harder to guard my thoughts and time this week. I will spend more time praying and less time just fooling around without any purpose. But when Sunday comes and I offer the fruit I have in my heart as praise The Lord will see it washed in the blood of Christ. Without the sin the effort will be the kind He wants. A misshapen red-green apple that is fairly sweet is not the best, but it can still be refreshing. I pray that the Holy Spirit guides us all to be those kinds of working trees this week. Onward and upward!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
An artifact from a different era
I found this card recently that dates from the late 1960s and it struck me how much things have changed. I deleted the name of the person to whom it was addressed, but it seems that it was given to the patient by the surgeon. To see a larger size click on the images. I cannot imagine anyone getting one of these now from their surgeon. Times really have changed.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
The dreaded apology
Molly was a hamster that Middlesweet adopted a few years ago, and it lived a relatively peaceful life in her little house in a corner of our home until Wonderful noticed that it was not eating as much during the last weekend. I held the trembling body in my hand and noted that the poor thing's abdomen was swollen and black. I warned Middlesweet that her little pet was very sick and probably not long for this world. Monday morning the little thing started smelling rotten and by evening it had become a lifeless form on a blue towel prepared for a final goodbye. I held my daughter in my lap in front of the fuzzy form and encouraged her o whisper her goodbye, and through moans of grief and tears Middlesweet apologized to the hamster. "I'm sorry I didn't play with you enough!"
The other two children were allowed to say their goodbyes after Middlesweet completed her alone time with her pet and I buried the little body in an undisclosed location. I was given pause by Middlesweet's sad confession of not spending enough time with her pet. Of course too much time with the hamster would have probably terrorized the little thing, but how much time would have been enough? I feel like confiding in my daughter that I never spend enough time with her, and that when it comes time for her to move on to the next things I will tearfully admit that I won't be ready. Life marches in a continuous string of moments that cannot be retained or paused. I hope my children remember plenty of those moments on my lap or in my embrace to sustain a sense of my love for them, but I will be still be asking for one more moment to say it one more time. Every loved one to whom I have said goodbye deserved so much more than I gave. I think I will tell my girl that it is better to realize that we made an attempt to show our love than to realize that we kept planning on doing it better later instead and never got to it.
The other two children were allowed to say their goodbyes after Middlesweet completed her alone time with her pet and I buried the little body in an undisclosed location. I was given pause by Middlesweet's sad confession of not spending enough time with her pet. Of course too much time with the hamster would have probably terrorized the little thing, but how much time would have been enough? I feel like confiding in my daughter that I never spend enough time with her, and that when it comes time for her to move on to the next things I will tearfully admit that I won't be ready. Life marches in a continuous string of moments that cannot be retained or paused. I hope my children remember plenty of those moments on my lap or in my embrace to sustain a sense of my love for them, but I will be still be asking for one more moment to say it one more time. Every loved one to whom I have said goodbye deserved so much more than I gave. I think I will tell my girl that it is better to realize that we made an attempt to show our love than to realize that we kept planning on doing it better later instead and never got to it.
Monday, April 07, 2008
A Father's Delight
Forgive me for playing catch-up by posting more than once today, but I have all these unposted notes I am trying to clear off my PDA.
My eight year-old son has fallen in love with reading, and his favorite series of late is the Eragon series by Christopher Paolini. (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eragon) Saturday night he confided in me that he was not going to read any of these books on Sunday. When I asked why his response was that God has made him feel that Sunday should be a day to focus on God and not on other things that delight us. He also noted that he was not going to play any of the allowed computer games on Sunday either, for the same reason. Needless to say I was floored. This is not a family rule, and I stated that to him, but encouraged him to stick by his commitment so that he would not quench the Spirit if it is truly God who directed him to make these decisions.
This whole thing was very challenging to me as I see myself acting selfishly all the time, and I really need to spend more time focusing on God. I told Wonderful that I am not the right father for this boy- he needs a godly man to lead him. Of course Wonderful gave the pat answer that I am just right for my eldest and that she thinks I am wonderful. I told her she just doesn't want to admit she made a mistake in marrying me, but she just rolled her eyes at me. Whatever.
So Sunday comes, and my eldest gets all goofy and plays with his sister and my wife's puppy all afternoon, instead of quietly sitting in his room reading the Holy Scriptures as he intended. He did read several chapters of the Bible during church and the ride to and from church, but the afternoon did not pan out as he stated it would. What do I do? I simply let him do his thing. (at this point Wonderful would want me to note that I did sleep through much of this and could not have done anything anyway. As she said I slept through everything she probably would roll her eyes again) In fact, though, as I put my son to bed that night I could have rehashed the day and kept him accountable to his commitment a day earlier, but I did not. As I have said, I let him do his thing.
I admit that I am still proud of him for making this commitment, because he heard the voice of God and responded in his heart. His response isn't perfect, and probably never will be. The point is that his little imperfect effort warmed my heart. So God snags my heart over to the corner and tells me- "I am YOUR father. Don't give up on your efforts to make me proud. You will get there someday if you keep trying, and that desire means more to me than some artificial righteousness."
I am proud of the imperfect artwork on my refrigerator, and the mispronounced words read to me from the pages of some difficult Dr. Seuss book. I am proud because they represent honest effort and a desire to please. I am not satisfied to keep my children here, but I am delighted that they are at this place now. My Father in Heaven is the same. He knows we have much to learn and grow, but He delights in our honest efforts. Never give up because you aren't good enough, because your Father is ok with that if it is your current best. Commit to continue to grow and listen for His promptings to learn from your mistakes. I have committed to do so.
My eight year-old son has fallen in love with reading, and his favorite series of late is the Eragon series by Christopher Paolini. (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eragon) Saturday night he confided in me that he was not going to read any of these books on Sunday. When I asked why his response was that God has made him feel that Sunday should be a day to focus on God and not on other things that delight us. He also noted that he was not going to play any of the allowed computer games on Sunday either, for the same reason. Needless to say I was floored. This is not a family rule, and I stated that to him, but encouraged him to stick by his commitment so that he would not quench the Spirit if it is truly God who directed him to make these decisions.
This whole thing was very challenging to me as I see myself acting selfishly all the time, and I really need to spend more time focusing on God. I told Wonderful that I am not the right father for this boy- he needs a godly man to lead him. Of course Wonderful gave the pat answer that I am just right for my eldest and that she thinks I am wonderful. I told her she just doesn't want to admit she made a mistake in marrying me, but she just rolled her eyes at me. Whatever.
So Sunday comes, and my eldest gets all goofy and plays with his sister and my wife's puppy all afternoon, instead of quietly sitting in his room reading the Holy Scriptures as he intended. He did read several chapters of the Bible during church and the ride to and from church, but the afternoon did not pan out as he stated it would. What do I do? I simply let him do his thing. (at this point Wonderful would want me to note that I did sleep through much of this and could not have done anything anyway. As she said I slept through everything she probably would roll her eyes again) In fact, though, as I put my son to bed that night I could have rehashed the day and kept him accountable to his commitment a day earlier, but I did not. As I have said, I let him do his thing.
I admit that I am still proud of him for making this commitment, because he heard the voice of God and responded in his heart. His response isn't perfect, and probably never will be. The point is that his little imperfect effort warmed my heart. So God snags my heart over to the corner and tells me- "I am YOUR father. Don't give up on your efforts to make me proud. You will get there someday if you keep trying, and that desire means more to me than some artificial righteousness."
I am proud of the imperfect artwork on my refrigerator, and the mispronounced words read to me from the pages of some difficult Dr. Seuss book. I am proud because they represent honest effort and a desire to please. I am not satisfied to keep my children here, but I am delighted that they are at this place now. My Father in Heaven is the same. He knows we have much to learn and grow, but He delights in our honest efforts. Never give up because you aren't good enough, because your Father is ok with that if it is your current best. Commit to continue to grow and listen for His promptings to learn from your mistakes. I have committed to do so.
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